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****************************************************** If you think you are fat, you probably are. Do not ask us. We refuse to answer. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. Do not cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then, you are stuck with her. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again! If you ask a question you don't want an answer to; expect an answer you do not want to hear. Sometimes, we are not thinking about you. Live with it. Do not ask us what we are thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation and NASCAR. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. Shopping is not a sport, and no, we are never going to think of it that way. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really. Crying is blackmail. Your ex-boyfriend is an idiot. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work. Strong hints do not work. Obvious hints do not work. Just say it! We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand. Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress? Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor. Foreign films are best left to foreigners. Check your oil. Please. Do not fake it. We would rather be ineffective than deceived. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done-not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends like THEIR relationship is SO MUCH better. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. ****************************************************** ****************************************************** Ultimate Fantasy! Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Relationship Humor: http://www.nursinghumor.com/fantasy ****************************************************** Dogs Vs Men, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Relationship Humor: http://www.nursefriendly.com/nursing/humor/battle.of.the.sexes.dogs.vs.men.htm ****************************************************** Home Repairs, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Marriage Humor: http://www.nursefriendly.com/nursing/humor/battle.of.the.sexes.home.repairs.htm ****************************************************** Why Cats Are Better Than Men, Battles of The Sexes Jokes, Cat-Pet Humor: http://www.4nursing.com/humor-battle-of-the-sexes-why-cats-are-better-than-men.html ****************************************************** 25 Year Old Breasts, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Marriage Humor: http://www.4nursing.com/humor-battle-of-the-sexes-25-year-old-breasts.html ****************************************************** Top Ten Reasons Why God Created Eve, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Top Ten Humor: http://www.nursinghumor.com/created ****************************************************** 17 Ways To Be A WOMAN.... From A Somewhat Bitter Man, Battle of The Sexes: http://www.nursinghumor.com/ ****************************************************** The Perfect Man, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Relationship Humor: http://www.nursefriendly.com/nursing/humor/battle.of.the.sexes.a.divorced.perfect.man.htm ****************************************************** Name Calling, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Relationship Humor: http://www.nursefriendly.com/nursing/humor/battle.of.the.sexes.name.calling.htm ****************************************************** A Real Lady, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Infidelity Humor: http://www.nursinghumor.com/lady ****************************************************** A Woman Thirty Years Younger, Marriage Jokes, Battle of the Sexes Humor http://www.nursinghumor.com/younger ****************************************************** Mating Bulls, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Marriage Humor http://www.nursefriendly.com/nursing/humor/battle.of.the.sexes.mating.bulls.htm ****************************************************** Five Kinds of Sex, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Marriage Humor: http://www.nursefriendly.com/nursing/humor/battle.of.the.sexes.five.kinds.of.sex.htm ****************************************************** Men Are Like . . ., Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Relationship Humor: http://www.nursefriendly.com/nursing/humor/battle.of.the.sexes.men.are.like.htm ****************************************************** Following Orders, Battle of the Sexes Jokes, Gallows Humor: http://www.nursefriendly.com/nursing/humor/gallows.dark.following.orders.htm ****************************************************** Top Fourteen Things PMS Stands For, Top Ten Jokes, Battle of The Sexes Humor: http://www.nursinghumor.com/pms ****************************************************** The Escapee, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Relationship Humor: http://www.nursefriendly.com/nursing/humor/battle.of.the.sexes.the.escapee.htm ****************************************************** Why Pumpkins Are Better Than Men, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Relationship Humor http://www.nursefriendly.com/nursing/humor/battle.of.the.sexes.why.pumpkins.are.better.than.men.htm ****************************************************** The Blind Date, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Geriatrics Humor: http://www.nursefriendly.com/nursing/humor/battle_of_the_sexes.the.blind.date.htm ****************************************************** The New Girlfriend, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Relationship Humor: http://www.nursefriendly.com/nursing/humor/battle.of.the.sexes.the.new.girlfriend.htm ****************************************************** Pros of Being A Woman, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Relationship Humor: http://www.nursefriendly.com/nursing/humor/battle.of.the.sexes.the.pros.of.being.a.woman.htm ****************************************************** If You Love It, Set It Free, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Relationship Humor: http://www.nursefriendly.com/nursing/humor/battle.of.the.sexes.if.you.love.it.set.it.free.htm ****************************************************** A Divorced Woman's Perfect Breakfast, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Divorce Humor http://www.nursefriendly.com/nursing/humor/battle.of.the.sexes.a.divorced.womans.perfect.breakfast.htm ****************************************************** How To Impress, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Relationship Humor http://www.nursefriendly.com/nursing/humor/battle.of.the.sexes.how.to.impress.htm ****************************************************** Great Female Comebacks, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Relationship Humor http://www.nursinghumor.com/ ****************************************************** His and Her Road Trip, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Relationship Humor http://www.nursinghumor.com/battle/ ****************************************************** Generation Gap, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Parenting Humor http://www.nursefriendly.com/nursing/humor/parenting.parents.jokes.generation.gap.htm ****************************************************** And You Wonder "Why" It Didn't Last, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Divorce Humor http://www.nursefriendly.com/nursing/humor/battle.of.the.sexes.and.you.wonder.why.it.didnt.last.htm ****************************************************** Because I'm A Guy, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Relationship Humor http://www.nursefriendly.com/nursing/humor/battle.of.the.sexes.because.im.a.guy.htm ****************************************************** The Gentleman On The Bus, Battle of The Sexes Jokes & Humor http://www.nursinghumor.com/gentleman ****************************************************** If Men Got Pregnant, Battle Of The Sexes Jokes, Pregnancy Humor http://www.nursinghumor.com/if ****************************************************** A Man, His Wife, and The Cop, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Marriage Humor http://www.nursinghumor.com/cop ****************************************************** If Men Wrote The Rules, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Relationship Humor http://www.nursinghumor.com/wrote ****************************************************** What Women Know About Men, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Marriage Humor http://www.nursinghumor.com/know ****************************************************** All Wives Are Alike, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Marriage Humor http://www.nursinghumor.com/alike ****************************************************** A Woman Thirty Years Younger, Marriage Jokes, Battle of the Sexes Humor http://www.nursefriendly.com/nursing/humor/marriage.matrimony.wedding.jokes/a.woman.thirty.years.younger.htm ****************************************************** Radar, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Marriage Humor http://www.nursinghumor.com/radar ****************************************************** Definitely Warm, Battle of the Sexes Jokes, Relationship Humor http://www.nursinghumor.com/warm ****************************************************** Suspicions, Battle of the Sexes Jokes, Marriage Humor http://www.nursinghumor.com/suspicions ****************************************************** I Just Want You To Hold Me Tonight http://www.nursinghumor.com/me ****************************************************** A Dictionary of Dating http://www.nursinghumor.com/dating ****************************************************** Translating Men, What They Say & What They Really Mean: http://www.nursinghumor.com/translating ****************************************************** I am glad I am a man, I am glad I am a woman: http://www.nursinghumor.com/glad ****************************************************** Male Bashing: http://www.nursinghumor.com/bashing ****************************************************** Two Gifts For Adam & Eve, Battle of The Sexes, Nursing & Medical Jokes & Humor http://www.nursinghumor.com/gifts ****************************************************** Why Men Can't Win http://www.nursinghumor.com/win ****************************************************** Why We Appreciate Men, A Woman's Perspective http://www.nursinghumor.com/appreciate ****************************************************** Viagra Funnies http://www.nursinghumor.com/drugs.medications/viagra.jokes.humor.htm ****************************************************** ****************************************************** Bachelorette Party Fun:"Bachelorette Party Fun is your number one source for planning a bachelorette party or sorority party. Our free articles will help you plan every aspect including bachelorette party ideas, games, party favors, drinks and food for your bachelorette party or sorority party. From party supplies to the party favors, we'll help make your bachelorette party a very memorable one." I-VOLUTION, INC. 9420 Reseda Boulevard Suite 510 Northridge, CA 91324 Bachelorette@bachelorettepartyfun.com, 818-718-1104 or Fax us at 818-993-8358. http://www.bachelorettepartyfun.com/ ****************************************************** Viagra Jokes: http://www.net2business.com/humor/viagra.html ****************************************************** ****************************************************** For Health Information you can use, Follow, Connect, Like us on Facebook, Google Plus, LinkedIn,Twitter, etc. (Most Invites Accepted): http://www.nursefriendly.com/social/: Google Plus (if you're not a member, e-mail me for an invite)-info@nursefriendly.com http://www.nursefriendly.com/google/ See What's New 4nursing.com:"In this Nursing Portal you'll find information on Nursing Jobs, Nursing Schools, Nurse Degrees, CNAs, LPNs, RNs, Travel Nursing, Prescriptions Drugs, Medications, Nursing Associations and much more." http://www.4nursing.com ****************************************************** InspirationalNursing.com:"InspirationalNursing.com. Touching Poems, and Inspiring stories that touch the heart and occasionally bring a tear to your eye. Affection, Ambition, Angels In Our Lives, Animals, Babies, Bereavement, Caring, Caring, Children, Christian Stories, Christmas, Computers & The Internet, Death, Dependability, Determination, Dying, Easter, Emergency Medical Services (EMS), End of Life, Etc., Friendship, God's Creatures, Grief, Holiday Thoughts, Honesty, Hospice Poems, etc." http://www.inspirationalnursing.com ****************************************************** Jocularity.com (Former home to the Journal of Nursing Jocularity (JNJ)):"Nursing & Medical Humor. Find hundreds of jokes and links to sites that will make you smile. Therapeutic Humor Associations, Battle of the Sexes, Bedside Nursing Humor, Brain Teasers, Clowning, Clowns, Therapeutic Humor & Comedy Links, Dental Humor, Emergency Department Humor, General Nursing Humor, Geriatrics, Senior Citizen, etc." http://www.jocularity.com ****************************************************** Legalnursingconsultant.org:"This website is intended to be a resource for Legal Nurse Consultants, Attorneys looking to use their services, and nurses looking to enter the field of Legal Nurse Consulting. On our site you'll find a directory of LNCs by state and specialty." http://www.legalnursingconsultant.org ****************************************************** Nursefriendly.com:"Nationwide Nursing Resources: In this Nursing Portal you'll find information on Nursing Jobs, Nursing Schools, Nurse Degrees, LPNs, RNs, APNs, Nursing Associations and much more." http://www.nursefriendly.com ****************************************************** Nursinga2z.com:"It is our intent for this Alphabetical, A to Z index to be a comprehensive listing (In Progress) of Nursing-related resources on the Internet. It is indexed by Google and fully searchable." http://www.nursinga2z.com ****************************************************** Nursingdiabetics.com:"Welcome to NursingDiabetics.com. Here you will find information on all aspects of Diabetes, a disease that afflicts millions of people world wide. I'll be adding pages as fast as I can research the information so remember to bookmark this page and return." http://www.nursingdiabetics.com ****************************************************** Nursingdiscussions.com:"This website will be a portal to Nursing Discussion boards throughout the Web. If your site has a discussion board we don't have listed here, please contact us." http://www.nursingdiscussions.com ****************************************************** Nursingentrepreneurs.com:"Nationwide Nursing resource to nurse entrepreneurs looking to nework and start home based businesses. On it you will find links to small and large business related resources." http://www.nursingentrepreneurs.com ****************************************************** Nursinghumor.com:"Nursing & Medical Humor. Find hundreds of jokes and links to sites that will make you smile. Therapeutic Humor Associations, Battle of the Sexes, Bedside Nursing Humor, Brain Teasers, Clowning, Clowns, Therapeutic Humor & Comedy Links, Dental Humor, Emergency Department Humor, General Nursing Humor, Geriatrics, Senior Citizen, etc." http://www.nursinghumor.com ****************************************************** ****************************************************** If your website is not listed here, we encourage you to submit it: Add Your Website/URL. See also: Nursing Topics, A to Z: Nursing Degrees, LPN-RN, RN-BSN, RN-MSN, Online/Offline College, University and more!:"Higher income. Career mobility. Now, no matter where you live or what your schedule, you can earn your Associate or Bachelor Degree to take your professional life to the next level — without putting the rest of your life on hold!" If you do any Browsing or Windowshopping online, please visit our online Mall: http://www.nursefriendly.com/shopping/ Gifts For Nurses: http://www.nursefriendly.com/gifts/ 4nursinguniforms.com:"Choose from Top Nursing Uniform Companies. All sizes, styles and popular name brands available. Large selection of accessories as well: Accessories Blood Pressure Cuffs, Sphygnomanometers Nursing Tote Bags, Carry-Ons, Medical Bags Clinical, Medical Supplies, Nurses Discount Outlet: Angels, Books, Clothing , Equipment, Figurines, Holidays, Home Decor, Jewelry, Nurses, Office Decor, Scrubs, Shoes, T-Shirts Footwear, Shoes, Sandals, Discount, Bargains Gifts For Nurses (Nurses Week) Hosiery, Socks, Stockings Hats, Jackets, Jumpers Jewelry, Earrings, Necklaces, Watches Luxury Spas, Facials, Manicures, Pedicures Perfumes, Fragrances, Phermones Shoes, Boots, Sandals, Footwear, High Heels, Slippers Stethescopes, Nurse Kits, Replacement Parts Swimwear (Tan-Through) Women's Lingerie " 4nursinguniforms.com ****************************************************** Nursing Chat, Nurse Discussion Forums: http://nursingdiscussions.com ****************************************************** The Uniform Resource Locator (URL) or Internet Street Address of this page is http://www.nursefriendly.com/nursing/humor/battle.of.the.sexes.rules.that.guys.with.women.knew.htm Last updated by Andrew Lopez, RN on Saturday, October 1, 2011 This Page is Part of The Nursefriendly National Nursing A To Z & Consumer Health Directories We are Incorporated in The State of New Jersey, under the name: Nursefriendly, Inc. 38 Tattersall Drive, Mantua, New Jersey (NJ) 08051 Our Phone #: 856-415-9617 This website Is © Copyright 1997 - 2011, Andrew Lopez, RN, Nursefriendly, Inc. Please contact us for permission to reproduce. Other products and companies referred to herein are trademarks or registered trademarks of their respective companies or mark holders, and are not owned or affiliated with Nursefriendly, Inc. or any of it's affiliated companies. View My Stats